BDS 16

Today in class we did our final BDS. I wrote for 20 minutes with the comfort break at the 10 minute mark as usual. This time during my comfort break I made a point to look off out the window, something that Boice suggests we do.

During this time, I worked on my short story and continued to advance through my outline. My goal was to advance through three "chunks" of my outline - more like paragraphs I guess since as I mentioned, it's very prose like.


I met this goal with ease and even wrote a little more. I did not finish my short story by the end of the four weeks, but I was not writing to finish it. My goal was to enjoy writing again and I think I found that through this class.

Thank you to everyone for making this such a great class. And a huge thank you to Boice for the insight.

Response to rest of Ch 4 and Boice Overall

It makes sense that your surrounding environment will have an effect on your writing. All of the strategies Boice listed for building environmental controls are things that I hope to try out. For example, seating comfort. I've always had a simple desk chair with a hard seat. I think I have become accustomed to that type of seat and don't really know comfort. I would love to try writing in a padded or plush chair that provides good back support. I would be curious to see how much of an effect it would have on my writing.

Having aesthetics makes sense. When I went away to college, I had to decorate my dorm room to feel like "home." I think this is because it creates comfort - we can relax when we're surrounded by the things that make up ourselves and our lives. And then when we are relaxed, we can better think and better write.

Now, Boice as a whole:

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading these four chapters and have found them all to be enlightening and useful.

For the future, I intend to use brief daily sessions for other long term projects. It is so much less stressful!

I also like the idea of comfort breaks. I've been getting into the routine of checking my posture and the like for comfort when I'm sitting in any place for a long duration.

I can see myself using contingencies for a project that I'm highly unmotivated with. One of my friends had her boyfriend change her Facebook password until she completed her essay and other homework assignments. It worked for her. I could use some reinforcement and modest punishment to get me writing/ working on a project if I was severely struggling.

Lastly, I'm going to be sure to make use of the strategies for moderating hypomania with writing as well as the list of maxims by Browne for writing and for every day life.

This class has been so rewarding and insightful!

BDS 15

Here we go with another morning BDS. I love it, especially because I read the readings last night and told myself that today I would meditate upon waking up and I would take my morning slow and think happy, calming thoughts instead of "gotta write my response, gotta do my BDS, gotta go to the gym, etc."

This worked wonders. As I sat down to write, I felt relaxed and then tried Boice's suggestion about thinking about something that would create happiness. With my happy thought in place and my mind and body calm and relaxed, I began to write. I had to remind myself at first to smile a little as a wrote, which as I continued, it became easier and needed less reminding. This seems like an obvious thing to do, because smiling, even if it is fake, releases endorphins and other happy chemicals in your brain. Why didn't I ever think to do this writing?

Because of this mind set, I didn't have any fears and worry during writing. But I wanted to keep this happy state of mind, so I did as Boice suggests, I let myself have optimistic and helpful thoughts. I thought to myself: wow, Ash, this is great, your story is coming along nicely, I'm really proud of you.

At my 10 minute mark comfort break, I paused, stretched and normally after this, I would get back to my writing. But for this BDS I made a list of things I wanted to try out, so I turned to my list, "reproduce the same sorts of mildly happy moods at each pause during sessions" (160). Hokay. I closed my eyes and brought my attention to another happy thought, which actually caused a little laughter because it was a fond memory. Checking this off my list, I continued writing.

When my timer sounded at the 20 minute mark, I was about to save and close and carry on with my day, but I looked back at my check list and realized I had one more thing to do: add self-congratulations.

"Good job, Ashley! You not only had a productive and very enjoyable writing session, but you made a point to try out some new strategies. Way to be awesome. Keep up the good work."

As a future teacher, I'm definitely going to be teaching my students a little bit about Boice. I think this could help students find writing to be very enjoyable, because I know it helped me.

Response to pg 153-161

Reading this part of the chapter was a real treat! I loved Browne's maxims. They were so positive and freeing! I think sometimes we get bogged down and we forget to appreciate ourselves. I consider myself a generally happy person. I've gotten significantly better at time management in the past year, which has in return, lowered my stress and negativity by loads. With this stress gone, it's a lot easier to focus on positive thinking and to appreciate myself. I find that I already exercise Browne's suggestions for many areas of my life.

"Recognize your own contribution." Yes. I do this. Not with writing, but with many other things in my life. But I'm definitely going to start applying these maxims to my writing.

"Discover what you can control: the who you interact with and how you react to interactions." I learned this one pretty young because my brother and I would fight and argue ALL of the time. My mom told me that I don't have to get upset and I don't even have to stick around to get in an argument. If he's starting to bother me, leave. Ever since, I make a point to interact with positive friends and peers. I don't like negative energy in my life, and I can control that for the most part!

"Don't waste energy expecting people to like your writing." This one was a newsflash to me, but it makes sense. This is something I'm definitely going to work on.

I won't go through all of them, but those three were my favorites.

I also like the list on page 160 about moderating hypomania.

Things I want to try out for my next BDS:
- beginning my days by slowing down, and writing with relaxed, softly smiling faces.
- replace pessimistic, fearful self-talk with optimistic and helpful thoughts
- reproducing the mild happiness at each pause/comfort break
- adding self-congratulations

BDS 14

In class today we did a BDS for I think 30 minutes.

As I went to begin writing, I realized that my thorough outline that I just composed was in my notebook that I had turned in for viewing. So, naturally, I was having trouble focusing and remember what exactly I wanted to write about next. Because of this, my BDS sadly was not very productive today. I typed a little, but felt really naked and insecure without my outline by my side. As a result, I spent most of the time scrolling through the document and reading it, which I suppose is not all bad. It was a nice editing session I guess because of that, so that is a bonus.

As usual, every 10 minutes I took a comfort break by stretching, tongue checks, and readjusting my position to maintain a relaxed and comfortable writing posture. Here's to hoping for a more productive BDS tomorrow!

Response to pg 144-153

"I usually asked writers to rehearse RET throughout their days--by pausing to check out negative affect... We use those moments to audit, record, and dispute irrational thinking...With a daily habit of noticing and recording irrational thoughts, writers become deft observers of what prior had seemed nearly inaudible and invisible" (148-149).

Yes! It's all about spotting that negative, irrational thinking and then stopping it from going any further. In general, I always try to keep positive thoughts in my head to avoid a cycle of negative thoughts. I don't know why I never thought to do this with writing, it makes perfect sense. If we let ourselves get into this loop of negativity about our writing, we'll have a self-fulfilling prophecy in the bad kind of way. But if we stop any oncoming bad thoughts, then we can monitor and control our moods better. It's completely logical.

Next time I have an insecurity or irrational thought about my writing, I'm going to identify it and dispute it as Boice suggests.

BDS 13

Alright Boice, here I am having completed another AM BDS and this time I attempted your contingency contract method. Every morning, I watch one episode of a sitcom (Will & Grace, Seinfeld, etc.) to get a laugh for the start of the day. So, today, I told myself that my BDS would be contingent on this morning tv show. "Just write for 20 minutes and then you can watch your 20 minutes of comedy." Feeling that it was fair trade, amount of time put in to work = amount of time for leisure, I began my BDS.

At the 10 minute mark I took my usual comfort break - tongue check, roll my shoulders, stretch my neck, all that jazz. 

This thought also crossed my mind, "Only 10 more minutes and then tv time."

I'm not sure how this thought makes me feel. It felt like suddenly this BDS was some long chore. "Only 10 more minutes." That's what you say when you're counting down to get off a long, stressful day at work. Or when you're looking at the clock to get out of a dull lecture. It was unsettling. 

I finished strong and rewarded myself with my tv show.

Concluding thoughts: I don't think I need operant conditioning at this point to help me write. I think I'm intrinsically motivated enough that the extrinsic reinforcer isn't necessary. But I'm glad I tried out Boice's suggestion. 

Response to pg 138-144

"If I have to rely on binges for my creativity, how creative am I? How much in control am I?" (144).

I really loved this quote that Boice used from one of his writers. After reading this question, I really gave it some thought and it changed my perspective. I wouldn't be in control, nor very creative. I remember those days when I would binge write and I would be so happy that I was writing and writing so much, but then I wouldn't write again for a while. I had no control over it. It makes sense now why BDS helps to keep things under control because you're keeping writing in moderation. Everything in moderation.

I also liked that the concept of moderate happiness came up again, as it did in the first reading. Being happy really is important for all that we do, and any task, including writing, will be done significantly better if we are in this state of mind instead of working under a time constraint.

BDS 12

I was feeling rather tired and lazy today and the thought of doing a BDS just seemed unexciting. But, I told myself that I would be productive and meet my goals. This proved to be a success!

My goal for this BDS was to spend 10 or so minutes working on that thorough outline that I kept saying I would do. After that 10 minutes, I could keep working on the outline, or I could go back to writing the short story. I like giving myself some choice, I think it helps motivate me.

So for the first 10 minutes, that's exactly what I did. I worked on that dang outline. And I'm really proud that I did. At the 10 minute mark, I took my comfort break and evaluated my progress. I decided to go ahead and finish it instead of turning to writing right away.

After finishing it, I had about 12 minutes left to write. This, too, did not seem very appealing, but I looked at my much more detailed outline and it encouraged me to write. Boice talked about making your outlines almost prose like, so that when you go to write, it's a much easier conversion. This guy knows what he's talking about because that's what I did. My much more thorough outline was very prose like and very detailed, so when I went to write, it seemed a lot easier and clearer for where I was going.

When the timer sounded, I was not only in mid sentence, but I was in mid word (gasp). I saved the file and closed it out before even finishing the word. Rather impressed with myself right now :)

Response to pg 129-138

As with all the readings we have had from Boice, I found this one too be just as fascinating as the others. Maintaining a new habit is difficult, and can easily be abandoned. I remember when I first started going to the gym, I really had to talk myself into going, I almost felt like a Drill Sargent. Then, after about a week or two, I would find an excuse, or as Boice calls it, a common interupter: just had stitches? Okay, no gym until I'm healed. It's final exams at school? Okay, no gym for this week. I picked up another extracurricular activity? Well clearly I don't have time for the gym now. Relationship problems? Well that just calls for a bowl of ice cream.

All of these are examples of Boice's interupters - calamities of health and relationships, new responsibilities, reinstatement of feelings of busyness.

And I'm sure I've come across these interupters before with writing, especially the feelings of busyness.

Boice says that in order to maintain the new habit of writing, we need to control the "negative thoughts that block writing" and the "impatience that leads to bingeing" (134). I think this will be one of the most challenging aspects that Boice has presented. It's quite easy to get discouraged and impatient. I think a good first step is being able to identify when you're making an excuse to not write and then being able to tackle it head on instead of accepting it.

BDS 11

Today, in class, we did a BDS for 30 minutes.

My goals were to think about and brainstorm memories I have of my experience with the girl I tutored, and then make a more thorough outline.

I met only the first goal and a little bit of the second. As I started writing down these memories, I was getting really excited - I think I was able to reconnect myself with the story and the emotion behind it. I guess sometimes when we write, we get bogged down and forget about why we wanted to write in the first place. I think that happened as I approached mid-story. It's like with any marathon - you get sluggish halfway through.

Anyway, writing these memories made me eager and ready to get back to the short story. So I spent about 25 minutes writing and continuing the short story because I just couldn't contain myself. It was exciting!

I still want a more thorough outline. I got started on one, but that's when I said, "to the keyboard!" and abandoned my notebook and pen. So my goal for next BDS is to hopefully get a more thorough outline so I can work through and finish the rest of the story with ease.

Response to pg 113-118

"We don't label public speaking anxiety as speaking blocks" (113).

I LOVED this part. It made me giggle a little, because Boice is right. Same with phobias about leaving home - we don't call them traveling blocks. It's a little funny how exaggerated it has become (Muses abandoning, wells running dry, etc.) and how the solutions are just as crazy when you compare them to other problems. For example, if you have a fear of leaving the house, you don't just wait until you feel inspired to leave - that will never happen - but for some reason it's been a running idea for writing blocks. It's all very ironic, I guess. Reading this section was quite eye opening in that sense.

I also found the section on self-defeating behaviors interesting. Having just taken a psychology class, we learned a little bit about self-handicapping - some examples I'd like to share are taking on too much and procrastination. Both of which seem to fit into Boice's examples of what writers do - avoidance and laziness. What I find particularly interesting is that these self-defeating behaviors are everyday and normal, which means that when we "block," it's not because some Muse has left us or some other elaborate reason. This seems like it would be obvious, but I've attributed my past lack of inspiration to crazy things, like "I'm not meant to be a writer, I'm meant to be x, y, z."

Anyway, I found this whole section to be interesting and eye opening. Thank you, Boice.

BDS 10

As Boice recommended, I did a BDS today in the morning! Huzzah!

I really liked writing in the morning rather than in the evening, like I did last time, or in the afternoon. It was much nicer - my mind was fresh, energized, awake, and alert.

I wrote down my goals for this BDS: spend 15 minutes on editing, revising, and finalizing the cross-transfer project (which is a progress report of sorts about the student that I tutored and am writing my short story about) and then sending it off to the person who asked me to do it.

I met this goal with ease. I edited and revised for the first 10 minutes, took a short comfort break where I changed my sitting position due to discomfort, and during the last 5 minutes, I finalized it and sent it off in an email.

I feel good. I'm glad I did my BDS in the morning. I'm going to do this again for Tuesday!

After completing my BDS, I wrote down what I would like to do for my next BDS, as Boice suggested we do: make a more detailed outline for where I am at in the short story and where I want to go because the one I originally made is too vague. I would also like to use some of this time to brainstorm and really recall my memories about this experience and list those. I intend to spend 20 minutes on that BDS, and with whatever remaining time, I will continue writing the short story.

Response to pg 108-112

I loved the section on contingency management! I think it's a great idea for promoting fluency because it ensures that you write. I have never rewarded or punished myself for writing, but it seems to make sense, and considering that Boice is a psychologist, of course he would suggest some basic operant conditioning. I see what you did there, Boice.

I like the idea of having someone call you to remind you. When we do BDS in class, this isn't a problem. But Tuesdays and Thursdays when we're on our own, my days fill up and it's not until later in the evening before I can write, which I want to avoid doing.

The more likely option that I will try out is making writing contingent on something else, such as watching tv. I love watching a tv show show in the morning when I'm eating my breakfast. Maybe I can use this contingency - no writing, no tv show. This would also fulfill Boice's suggestion for trying to write in the AM. I've already watched my tv show this morning, but I can start this for Tuesday when I'm on my own for BDS again.

BDS 9

My goals for this BDS were to first work on the related cross-transfer project, with the intention of finishing it, and with whatever remaining time I had left, I would work on my short story and maybe get a half page to one page written.

This BDS lasted for 20 minutes with a comfort break at the 10 minute mark. I checked my posture, felt comfortable, and continued writing.

I decided to work on the cross-transfer project first because I need to send it to someone for them to add information to. So I wanted to get this done today, that way I could send it off before the end of the week. Looks like that will happen!

I ended up needing all 20 minutes to finish the project. I'm glad that it is complete and now that it's not dwelling in the back of my mind, the "I need to get this done" thoughts, I can refocus on my initial short story project.

I actually enjoyed this cross-transfer project more than my original project, which makes me wonder if I should stick with this short story, or scrap it, or modify it somehow - I'm not sure. I chose this project because I thought it would be fun and kind of a nice memento of this experience, but I'm not having as much fun with it anymore now that I'm about mid-way with it.

What would Boice do?

Response to pg 101-107

I was surprised by how much of these steps we've already been doing - like making BDS a regular habit, limiting them to weekdays, making it a moderate daily priority, keeping them brief, being comfortable when you write, etc.

There are a couple things thought that Boice mentions that I would like to try out. He suggests doing your writing is the AM because we're fresh and alert. While we do BDS in class around noon, I think I might try doing my BDS on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the morning. Yesterday, I did mine in the evening and I was definitely drained from a busy day already and I was not looking forward to doing one more assignment before I could fully relax for the evening. Because of this, it felt like a chore in a way. By doing it at the start of the day, I think it would be much better. I know I could easily fit it into my morning routine too without waking up earlier since Boice suggests we don't let it become an inconvenience by changing our routine.

The other idea that I want to try out is to "limit bds to clearly defined goals" (106). Since I've started my project, I have had rather general goals, like to just keep with it and continue the story and advance through the outline. So, starting today, I'm going to make a more specific and narrow goal for my BDS.

One last final thing that I would like to try out, "plan to end each BDS with freewriting about what you will write the next time" (107). I'll give this a try today and see how it helps my momentum for the following day.

BDS 8

My BDS for today was for 20 minutes. During the first 10 minutes, I returned to my short story project. I was a little slow getting started, so I had to revisit my outline to just check in with my progress and where I wanted to go. After doing this, I had a better mindset and was able to write with ease.

At the 10 minute mark, I took a short comfort break - rolled my shoulders, did a tongue check, stretched my neck, etc.

For the second 10 minute block, I decided to switch things up and work on the cross-transfer project that I had started on during my previous BDS. This project has come with ease and has been rather fun to work on. There is still more to work on for it since I only allotted 10 minutes for it, so I can continue to use it as a "break" from my initial project.

Response to pg 83-90 + Blocking Questionnaire

I enjoyed reading about blocking because when I used to write, this was a frequent problem!

I never tried free-writing as a possible cure, so that's going to be the first thing I'll try next time I'm feeling blocked.

This also resonated with me, "We often set unreasonable standards for the quantity and quality of our own productivity" (84). Yes - this is a problem. I'm a perfectionist, and I guess also an idealist in thinking that I can meet all of these unreasonable standards I set for myself.

Also, I liked Boice's discussion on spontaneity, "the reasons why most of us cannot count on unplanned spontaneity for our writing: It hasn't worked well or often enough" (86). This was exactly how I used to write almost all of the time, especially when I wrote for pleasure. I just wrote when the mood struck, it was entirely spontaneous. I'd have a wild dream and I'd go to make it into a story. I do this less so with academic writing, especially this past year, I've gotten better at completing assignments a few days before the deadline.

Regarding the blocking tendencies and the blocking questionnaire, I found them all to be interesting, and could tell I probably would score high in certain areas more than others, such as perfectionism. However, I'm having trouble interpreting the results. I'm worried I somehow did my math wrong or something. My numbers seem awfully high, but I rarely had 10s or 8s even. Most of what I circled was in a range between 3-6. Maybe we can go over this in class?

BDS 7

Today in class we did a BDS for 20 minutes. In one of my previous blog posts, I mentioned that I might try Boice's suggestion for a cross-transfer, "if you get stuck at organizing your ideas, work up a second, related project; the cross-transfer of ideas may help unblock you" (62).

I wasn't necessarily stuck with my short story since it's nonfiction, but I was feeling a little blocked - maybe it was just fatigue with it - I'm not sure. But I decided to give this cross-transfer idea a go because the perfect opportunity presented itself.

After I tutored this girl, I asked the program director if I could get some kind of official report that documented her progress so I could put it in my teaching portfolio. She said she would be glad to help with it, but she asked me to type up a rough draft and then she would add in the numbers.

It's a related project since my story is about my experience with her, but different enough that it's a nice change of pace. So, during my BDS today, I started working on that. I didn't get to finish, so it will be a nice project to pick up on again. Also, the timer conveniently beeped when I was in mid-sentence. I was on such a roll, and thought about finishing my sentence, but I told myself to stop, so I did. I'm getting better at stopping in mid-sentence, which is something I never thought would be possible!

Also, at the 10 minute mark, there was a comfort break. I was hesitant to take it because I was on such a roll and in the moment with this project, but I'm glad I did because I noticed my sitting position was not the most comfortable, so I adjusted that.

Response to pg 72-79

I don't recall who it was, but I read someone's blog that described Boice's processes as an algorithm, which being a logical person, it's a relief to see. Going through the steps to ensure balance and moderation reminded me of this comparison. It really is an algorithm!

Boice seems to really emphasize the habit of regular, daily writing in a calm, comfortable fashion. I've noticed that as we are doing this in class, I'm getting better at maintaining the "mood" to write because it's becoming just part of my routine - like going to the gym.

Beginning before feeling fully ready also seems to be a recurring theme. Despite not feeling necessarily "inspired" all the time to write, I do it anyway and whatever I write usually ends up turning out just fine. It's like I was making a bigger deal about something than it really was. We get ourselves so worked up, why?

I also found his descriptions about exemplars and problematics interesting! The exemplars began "as mild optimists and then stayed at that level" (75), meanwhile, the problematics had strong, consistent pessimism (75). I can see completely how this would affect the writing process! Generally, I consider myself and optimist. I even noted in my first blog entry that I was nervous, but confident and optimistic. So reading this part was a real comfort because it assured me that my chances for making progress are good. And, I think so far my progress has been good!

BDS 6

Today in class we had a BDS for 20 minutes with a comfort break at the 10 minute mark. I began by revisiting my outline and then went on to prose writing. At one moment, I had forgotten where I was going next with my short story, so I referred back to my outline and had my "aha" moment and carried on with writing the story.

When the timer sounded, I was in mid-sentence again today. I summoned the will power to not finish the sentence and thus saved the document and closed it. I thought it would be a lot harder to not finish a sentence, but it's getting surprisingly easier with each chance I get. I'm almost now hoping that every BDS will end in mid-sentence. Boice is right, it does help, because when you go to write again, the motivation to continue is still there.

I feel that I'm making progress with my story. According to my outline, I've completed the "beginning" part and have moved on to the "middle" of the story. This is exciting! It's not the best thing I've written, but I'm happy with the product because I'm enjoying it, and to me, that's all that matters for this project in particular.

Response to pg 64-72

As an already dedicated fan of outlines, I found this next section to be very easy to practice! My outlines are often prose like in form, just as Boice recommended. Before writing a paper or a story or a novel, I always make a detailed outline and tweak it as I go along for bigger projects. I remember when I was working on a novel, I had to revisit my outline and because I had a hole in it. I spent time making a more thorough outline to complete the hole and move me onward. It was very prose like, and I even had my asides in parentheses. I wish I had it here with me in Columbia because it's almost just as Boice described how an outline should be. I'd love to share it with you guys!

My outline for the story I'm working on for this class is rather prose like too - it's about two pages.

For example, here is an excerpt from it:

Beginning
-Ashley
    - life change, move back home for career reasons
    - see ad for tutoring - great! signs up
-Natalie
    - removed from custody of parents, lives with uncle
    - enrolled into Y Lit Program
-The meeting
    - we meet for the first time in November
    - Natalie: out of seat, wandering, shy, not vocal, intimidated, scared, not listening, reluctant
    - Ashley: frustrated, worried, exasperated, exhausted, frequent requests for proper behavior
    - Concluding thoughts: she will be a challenge - how can I fix this?


This outline is more brief than my usual ones, but it still follows the prose form that Boice uses in his example. I kept this one brief because the story is based on an experience in my life that was just recently, so it is all still very fresh in my mind.

Reading this section, though, for me was a delight. I love outlines and I don't know what I would do without them!

BDS 5

In class we did a small BDS for 15 minutes with a comfort break at the 10 minute mark. During my comfort break, I uncrossed my legs because I noticed a slight strain in my lower back.

I commented previously on how Boice suggests that the best writers prewrite as much as they prose write, and how I was considering some more prewriting activities to help with the story because it's starting to feel dry and old.

Soooo, during this BDS, I went to look back at my outline that I made for my first BDS. I evaluated where I was according to the outline and if I was on track - I am, but I think I'm elaborating on things more than I expected to. I then looked to see where I planned on going with the story to make sure my mental outline was in line with my paper one.

In addition to this exercise, I also looked for things to jog my memory about my topic. Since I'm writing a story about how I tutored this girl, and it has been about a month and a half of not being with her anymore after a whole year, I was starting to feel disconnected - like I had lost the memory of who she really was as a person. I looked at a picture I had of her that we took together on our last day, and I looked at this written profile I had typed up about her - strengths, weaknesses, etc.

After doing this, I felt recharged in a way, and ready to write. I got some writing done in the five minutes that I had left. Best of all, when the timer sounded, I actually STOPPED in mid sentence, saved the file, and closed it.

I feel like a champion. Boice would be proud.

Response to pg 59 - 64

In step two on shaping ideas into imagination, I liked the six steps that Boice talked about. Particularly, revisiting your notes (step one), delaying closure (step three), and using the cross-transfer idea (step four). I intend to try out all three of these things.

I think it's important to revisit my notes - I intend to do that today during my BDS.

I also want to get in the practice of delaying closure - I think this is similar to Boice's idea on "stopping" for his motivation speech. This idea seems hard to actually put into practice, but I'm determined to try it out. It will take a lot of self-talk to allow myself to delay closure, but I will work on it.

Lastly, I think I will try out the cross-transfer idea in an upcoming BDS. Even though I know where I'm going with the story, I'm starting to feel a little blocked. So I'd be curious to see how this helps.

BDS 4

Today in class we had a two session BDS. The first session was 15 minutes, and the second was 15-20 minutes (not sure, I didn't pay attention to the time for the second round!). During the first one, I accomplished very little. I felt incredibly distracted and could not focus at all on my story. I would type and then realize I have a hang nail, so I would stop and try to tear it off. Or, I would realize that I was cold in the room, which I guess led me to fidget a lot.

The second session was much more productive compared to the first. I'm not sure if it was having two meditations and a break, but during the second session, I was able to better focus on my story. There was still some distractions, but I did not fidget as much and my mind did not wander as much.

I think that for the next BDS I should stop and do some prewriting activities and evaluate where I am, and where I want to go.

Response to pg 52-59

I really liked Boice's rule number six, "The most fluent, efficient, comfortable, and imaginative writers spend as much time at prewriting as at prose writing" (53).

I spent a fair amount of time thinking about what I wanted to write, brainstorming ideas, trying out narrative styles, and outlining. But even with that, I will still probably conduct more prose writing than prewriting for this project. This rule makes me realize that prewriting is an ongoing process throughout the writing process. So maybe I should stop and do some more prewriting exercises for this project.

The other concept in this section that peeked my interest was the idea for completely immersing yourself in a subject. Since my project is a nonfiction story from my life, I'm not sure how this would work, but for other projects, I think this would be a great step for facilitating imagination! I could easily use this for writing fiction on a topic or nonfiction on a topic that I know little about. I know when I read history, I start to get immersed in the subject and start imagining story lines and characters. I think this is kind of what Boice is talking about.

BDS 3

Today, I wrote for 15 minutes with a comfort break at the 10 minute mark. During this break, I realized that the way my legs were crossed was a little strenuous on my lower back, so I uncrossed them. I stretched my neck and rolled my shoulders and then proceeded with the last five minutes. When the timer sounded, I was in mid sentence. I thought to myself, "Boice would tell me to stop." But I guiltily finished the sentence and then ended my session.

I was pleased with what I accomplished today. I didn't feel blocked. I didn't feel super "pumped" to write, but as we've read, just getting in the habit of practicing daily and being patient is key. So, I guess overall, I'm happy with the product so far.

Whenever I get anxious about it not sounding right, I calmly remind myself that I'm not writing this for anyone except myself, so just have fun with it. These reminders help me stay focused and keep me from getting off track in a worrisome anxiety loop.

Response to pg 43-50

"The most efficient writers learn not to give up too soon in searching their memories, in forming associations between memories and new ideas, and in forcing novel arrangements of ideas" (49).

I love how patience seems to be a recurring theme with Boice. I'm noticing that I'm getting better at being patient. I remember when I was outlining my story in my first BDS, a lot of little fears and anxieties crept up on me - what if the story wasn't right, what it was too short, what if I couldn't convey it properly, etc - I had to command myself to just be patient and try it out.

So whoever said "patience is a virtue," they really knew what they were talking about!

Other things that Boice brought up that I'd like to try out was his steps on page 45 for building imagination. For this story that I'm working on, I don't think I'll need to do this since I'm pulling from a life experience and just telling that story for my own personal benefit. However, as I'm rekindling myself with the pleasure of writing, it will be good to practice these steps of filing ideas, collecting, organizing, etc. That way when I write again, my imagination bank has plenty of things to choose from.

BDS 2

Today in class I completed my second BDS. I wrote for 25 minutes, with two short comfort breaks at the 10 minute marks. During these breaks, I checked my posture and checked for any discomfort, as well as did the tongue check to make sure I wasn't tensing up. I was pleased to discover that I wasn't tense and that I wasn't really anxious about writing either! I was anxious up until I actually started and just went with it.

My goals for this BDS was to just get started writing the short story. I didn't mind how little I got, and I told myself to not worry about how "good" it sounded, which resulted in a wonderful surprise. I wrote a little over a page - typed, single spaced. Originally, I was also having anxiety over whether or not I picked the "right" topic and had fears of failure in the back of my mind. After this BDS, though, I'm feeling confident and less anxious. I was really happy with my product today and even found writing rather enjoyable. This is fantastic for me, because finding the pleasure in writing again is one of my overarching goals for this class!

Response to pg 30-38

For my brief daily sessions, I want to try out a few things Boice discussed.

If I can get on a roll, I'm looking forward to stopping. I have never stopped in a writing session before when I'm on a roll, which usually results in a binge writing session. This "on a roll" state seems to be what Boice described as hypomania. Since I have been in a dry spell, I doubt that I'll encounter hypomania in the beginning of this process. But I'm sure there will come a moment when it strikes, in which case I look forward to being able to stop and be in control.

In addition, Boice mentioned we need to keep our anxiety in check and stop the stimulus that is the cause. I'm almost positive that when I begin actually writing my short story, there will be flares of anxiety. In which case, I need to make sure I stop, stretch, lower my tongue, and calm myself. This intervention will probably be the biggest initial challenge. But since I'm generally an optimist, I have hope that I can overcome it.

Meditation: Breathing

As this meditation progressed, I couldn't help but notice that it was very similar to what we have been doing in class this past week. Because of this similarity, I found it easier to get into a position and get in touch with my breath and bodily senses. I felt relaxed, but had some problems staying focused. The speaker reminded me that it was okay to have your mind wander, but to acknowledge it by saying, "thinking" or "wandering." Something I hope to work on with more practice is the ability to recognize the "wandering" more efficiently. It seems that I can easy go on these trails and be on them for a while before even realizing it. So, I would like to get better at identifying these moments. 

Other than this minor and normal occurrence, the meditation was very soothing. I noticed how my breath tickles my nostrils and chills my chest with each inhalation. I'm finding it to be an interesting experience to be this in tune with my body!

Response to pg 20-30

Boice's third rule not only made sense to me, but it also resonated with me. "Remember that impatience blocks writers by associating writing with rushed, incomplete work," (24).

Impatience has been one of my problems when it comes to writing for pleasure. After I went into my dry spell, I'd wait for inspiration, then I'd get impatient - or even if I did get an idea, I would become impatient while writing it because I couldn't get it out as quickly as I wanted, or I couldn't eloquently articulate what I was trying to convey - so the whole process was full of impatience and negative tension.

All of Boice's strategies seem like helpful ways to resolve impatience, or at least begin by lessening it. Tension checks seem like a great idea - it makes complete sense. I noticed when I was reading, I had been sitting in a position for a while, and felt a little knot forming in my back, so I stopped to change my position and voila - I felt better.

Additionally, Boice said, "Some of us bring already established fears (of failure, of success, and of other things) to the table" (26). This also resonated with me. Every time I sit down to write now, there is this fear in the back of my mind that it will not be any good - or that I won't be able to convey what I want to - or maybe it will just sound silly once I write it down because it sounded better in my head. I suppose all of these are associated with fear of failure. So, maintaining confidence and comfort while undergoing my writing project is crucial.

I also really liked the strategies discussed for "refinding our voices," including free writing, recollective rewriting, and never stopping at the ends of a sentence. This last one is one that I'm particularly interested to try out!

The final technique that I think will be useful (and was really interesting to read about) is the tongue checks. I noticed as I was reading, my tongue was at the roof of my mouth, which suggests that I was tense. I'm almost positive I do this while writing too, if I seem to do it while reading - oh wait tongue check just now and sure enough: it's on the roof of my mouth! That being said, I intend to practice relaxing in general and try out these tongue checks.

BDS 1

Today I wrote for 20 minutes with a short 30 second to 1 minute break at the 10 minute-half way mark. During my short break, I brought my attention back to my bodily senses (my breath, the chair against me, my hands touching, etc.) and refocused.

For my BDS, I planned to brainstorm narrative style ideas (first person, who's perspective, shuffling of perspectives or logical procession) as well as create a specific outline for my short story.

I accomplished both of these goals in the 20 minutes allotted for my BDS. I'm still undecided about which narrative style and point of view to use, so I might write some samples for upcoming BDS sessions to see which one I like better. As far as having an outline now, I feel confident about how to begin. Having this confidence is the first ingredient for ideal motivation, according to Boice. The other key element is calmness. I'm still feeling a bit of anxiety about writing, even though I like my topic. Maybe more meditation can help ease this, and maybe include more comfort breaks when I begin actually writing.

Response to pg 14-19

There were couple pieces to this section that really jumped out at me and spoke to me.

"We take a preliminary look at how our usual pessimism or optimism affects our readiness and confidence to write; expectations weigh heavily on motivations" (18).

Lately, I feel like this has been completely applicable to my past attempts at writing. I remember around my senior year of high school/ freshman year of college, I generally felt pessimistic about my writing. There were spurts of optimism that would fill me with confidence. I'd start to write in a frenzy, thinking to myself, "Oh this is good. This is so good!" And I could not wait to share it with friends to hear their opinion. When I expected the outcome to be good, I was highly motivated and charged. When I had a neutral expectation ("this is okay, it's whatever"), my motivation was not there.

The second piece to this section that I absolutely loved comes from the list of points on page 18-19.

"When we wait for the unconscious to provide motivation and materials, we probably err because the most efficient and effective writing has conscious and deliberate origins" (19).

YES.

All of the great writers - Orwell, Faulkner, Twain - they wrote consciously, deliberately, patiently, skillfully. Their masterpieces were constructed with diligent practice, just as the painter diligently practices painting, or the athlete trains for the marathon. We cannot rely on our unconscious - and I'm guilty of it, hands down. With conscious practice though and moderation (my mom always said "everything in moderation!"), we can consciously produce our motivation and materials instead of endlessly waiting.

Being Happy Improves Performance on Tasks

Hey all! So in class we briefly discussed Positive Psychology and how pivotal happiness is. I mentioned that I took a psychology class where we watched a video about happiness and how it can improve your performance on tasks, tests, problem solving, etc. Prime yourself to be happy! Read a joke, make a new friend, etc.

Here's the link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I6YJtq2Oqk&list=FLeEKHXf6NzuYthrrDB2CrFA&index=15&noredirect=1

It's a wee bit long, (8 minutes) but it's totally worth it because it's fascinating stuff :)

Response to pg 1-5: Reflection with a Hint of Anxiety and a Pinch of Hope

"I don't want to have to be forced, like a recalcitrant child, to do the very thing I want to do. But I don't have a clue what to do to make it seem more enticing, less involuntary. So, what's the answer?"

When I read this quote, my heart sank with sympathy and empathy for this person. Growing up, writing was more than a hobby for me. It was a passion. I thoroughly enjoyed writing short fiction stories and I would get so wrapped up in it. Around senior year of high school, though, I noticed that I was writing less, and when I did write, I forced myself.

"Over time, I add more cautions about forcing and bingeing: Both decrease the likelihood of writing again the next day or week. Both, in the long run, lead to less output and less satisfaction in writing."

It is no surprise then that by the time I started my freshman year of college, I had stopped writing all together. It was more than the struggle to find time to fit it in my new busy schedule and adjusted life - I just had no desire for it.

When I read these five pages, I couldn't help but wonder if this is what happened to me. Did I do this to myself?

Reading the beginnings of this chapter has not only allowed for some serious reflection on my own life and writing, but it also has opened my mind to a glass-half-full perspective: Maybe there is hope. Maybe after this class, I will be able to write for pleasure again.

I'm feeling open minded, yet anxious - maybe because it has been three and a half years since I've written for pleasure. As noted in the text, the "ideal state of motivation" calls for confidence and calmness. I suppose this - or myself - will be a work in progress.